This is What I Miss About British Television

•04/02/2010 • Leave a Comment

I have spent the last few weeks watching all the good British television I can find on YouTube. I don’t have television here (I have a television but no cable or local stations so I only use it to watch my DVDs). I know people say that there are good American television shows being made, and these are people I trust, but since I can’t watch the shows, I don’t miss not being able to see them. However, I just think on the whole British television is better. I suppose the shows I miss most are the panel quizzes–to me they blend ideas/current events and comedy so well. I’ve gotten caught up on QI and Have I Got News for You, my two favourites. I’ve also been watching 8 out of 10 cats and Mock the Week (both sometimes hit or miss but I do love Sean Lock). However, my most exciting discovery was Charlie Brooker’s shows. I know some of these were on while I was there, but somehow I’ve missed them. I’ve managed to watch all of Newswipe and Screenwipe. I’ve even watched Gameswipe though I don’t have any interest in games. Charlie Brooker is something else–I really don’t think you’d ever see anything like this here.

Here’s a bit of Newswipe where he looks at US news shows. All of the episodes are available on YouTube; watch them if you’ve got time. A current season of Newswipe is running on BBC4 (I think Tuesdays at 22.30).

I love him a little bit.

The World Wide Web and No One Reads Me

•01/02/2010 • Leave a Comment

I’m not talking about this blog. I know a few people do occasionally read this, but in many ways, I suppose I’m writing this blog to just to “hear” myself rant. It’s like therapy in many ways because it’s just me ranting and nothing gets solved. At least with this, I don’t have to pay. (Note: I once had a therapist interrupt me by saying, “Excuse me, I’m going to vomit” and run out of the room. I also once, in a very, very low state, emailed the Samaritans, saying I was worried because I no longer felt I had a reason to live. They never emailed me back.)

No, this poor-me story has to do with my other “professional” blog. Though you wouldn’t really know it from this one, I actually write “humour.” I’ve developed a character who writes her own blog, and (if I do say so myself) it’s pretty solid. She’s on Twitter and Facebook and Blog Catalog, but I just don’t know how to get her read more. I’m following all the “helpful” blogging suggestions I can find, but still she only manages about four hits a day (and I’m fairly sure most of those come from two of my friends).

I suppose what makes this complaint even more pathetic is that I can’t even seem to get my other friends and family to read her. I’ve sent out a number of emails, often just blatantly pleading for them to click on the site even if they don’t have time to read just so I can get my views up to incorporate into my cover letter for the book my character’s written, and they won’t even do that. Once again, I’m back to that same old whine about not feeling very important to the people who claim I’m important. I’m bored of it (as are you, I’m sure).

It’s one thing just to be professionally let down; it’s doubly annoying to have the personal aspect thrown in as well.

Woe is me. Again. Again. Again.

Facebook as the World

•25/01/2010 • Leave a Comment

Thanks to some horrible “friends” on Facebook, I’ve recently been wasting quite a lot of life playing a Facebook game (I can write this now only because I’ve finally broken the spell and have grown bored). More importantly than the fact that I am now one of those losers I used to make fun of is the fact that I have spent a lot of time looking at people’s profile pictures.

Mainly I use Facebook to read my friends’ updates (though some see to come up more so than others). Therefore, I normally only see the profile pictures of my friends (and occasionally the small versions of their friends if said friends make comments about my friends’ updates). However, with my silly game, I get to see a lot more pictures. And actually, the pictures are a lot more interesting than the game itself.

Now if I were like one of my friends who recently was hired in the field of interactive media studies, I could probably get a grant to come up with some great theories about people and their profile pictures. But I’m not. Instead I’m in the English department and get paid to think about commas. So I’m going to spout my theories here and, because no one’s paying for them, I don’t have to pretend that it’s scientific or even make any sense. But I did make a pretty graph.

It Almost Looks Scientific, Doesn't It?

First off, I would say that about a quarter of the pictures are professional and owned by someone else, which means that lots of people don’t seem to take very seriously Facebook’s question about being able to legally distribute the picture.

Of the owned-by-someone-else photos, they seem to be primarily cartoons (some I recognise but many of which I’m guessing have to do with games or Japanese animation). There are also a lot of “funny” pictures (like two snow people doing it doggy style), some of other people (often famous but sometimes less famous but stereotypically attractive or “sexy”) and lots and lots of cute animal pictures. I suppose the “funny” ones are to either make one’s friends laugh or to show that one is up on the current virals going around. I guess the animal ones show that the people are loving or cuddly.

Of the non-professional photos, I’d venture that at least at least a quarter of those are of animals. Mostly pets and mostly cute. But upsettingly (to me at least) there’s a lot of dead animal photos. I guess those who post them don’t see them as dead animals, but rather trophies (deer) or by products of hard work (fish). The one picture I saw which can only be described as roadkill—well, I really don’t know (or want to know) what that could mean to anyone.

Why do so many people have their pets in their profile pictures? I’m guessing it’s because those people don’t have children (or love their pets more than their children). Their pets are their family and that’s what they want to share with us. Because another quarter of the pictures are of people’s children: looking cute, looking not so cute, playing sports, pulling faces, fighting with other children, and being babies. I suppose whether one’s family is made up of children or animals, it makes sense that they are part of how we identify ourselves. I don’t think that’s too groundbreaking.

Okay, I’ve probably lost myself a bit with my percentages, so basically I’ve got two categories left. First, some people actually have photos of themselves. Some of these are family and/or wedding photos (professionally taken but I’m presuming they “own” them so I won’t be contacting the authorities). Quite a few of them seem quite old (and I’ve been wasting my time for over a month so I’m not just referring to the recent “retro” week). Perhaps this is how people wish they were still presenting themselves to others—younger or more innocent or still in love. Quite a few of the couple photos are a bit “fruity”—nothing too over the top, but quite a few making out pictures, which surprised me, I guess. Perhaps they’ve just got so much love they want to share it. I’d rather not partake really if you don’t mind. There are, of course, lots of the take-a-photo-of-your-reflection-in-the-mirror-with-your-phone pictures that have been commented on elsewhere—they are mostly of teen girls and most of them are pulling the same face: tipped head, eyes wide and lips pouting. I don’t like these photos.

And lastly I have my catch-all “Other Stuff” category—pictures of cars, flags, buildings, various coloured ribbons, hilarious slogans, etc, and/or pictures (stolen or owned) which have been Photoshopped in some way (though not always to look more flattering).

So what is my ultimate finding? Essentially, Facebook pictures are what bumper stickers or badge pins or bumper stickers used to be (okay, still are). They are chances for us to portray ourselves as we want to be seen. Whether or not we’re successful in “promoting” ourselves to our friends (or the people we want as friends), well, I suppose that depends on them. In all this voyeurism I’ve engaged in in the last few weeks, I’ve not come across a single picture that made me think “God, I wish I knew that person.” But that may have more to do with me being a misery guts than with the photos themselves.

For the record, my Facebook picture was initially the one and only picture of myself that I can tolerate looking at; then I changed it to a stolen picture from a television show I love; and currently it’s a humorous pretend Blue Plaque I created. What does that say about me? I’m vain and would prefer to live in a completely imaginary world.

Fair enough.

______

Here’s an “official” analysis of profile pictures. However, they were looking at dating sites so the purpose is slightly different and therefore doesn’t necessarily cancel out any of my incredibly wise analysis.

Insomnia and Hiccups, A Nasty Combination

•15/01/2010 • Leave a Comment

I can’t sleep. It’s not one of those miserable-I’m-so-exhausted-but-just-can’t-settle ones. I’m just awake, simple as that. And now I have the hiccups. No good.

Apparently this is a clip from the new animation for the Ricky Gervais podcasts. A bit disappointing.

I think this one’s far superior.

Turning Over a New Leaf

•10/01/2010 • Leave a Comment

After temporarily thinking I might start a new regime with the New Year, and then revising that to start with going back to work, I have now at least partially attempted to do it with the first full week of proper work (my online tutoring starts today and tomorrow the students are back at work). How I have attempted to do this follows:

1. Start a job on my list (this morning it was laundry and cleaning) within one hour of arising

2. Eat breakfast

I know breakfast is supposed to be important for like a hundred reasons, but I’ve never been much of a breakfast girl.  Unless it’s going out to breakfast (which ends up meaning brunch anyway). But today I’ve made myself eat some oatmeal. The problem is I don’t really like oatmeal. I mainly ate it in big swallows. I found the Golden Syrup instant porridge from Sainsburys tolerable, but they don’t have that flavour here (they’ve got maple syrup and it’s disgusting). But since I haven’t been able to think of any other easy and tolerable options, at least for now I’ll finish the box of oatmeal. Apples and cinnamon. Gross, really.

The next big hurdle for the day is doing some kind of exercise. I have one cardio DVD that I like alright and tons of stretching/yoga types. My plan is to do the cardio before work and then if I’m feeling crazy, do a yoga one after. That may be too aspirational but I’m going to go for it. This means, though, that sometime in the next two hours I need to get off my backside and do the exercise. Hmm….

I’m not feeling particularly anxious about work tomorrow though this is probably due to two key factors: I don’t actually teach tomorrow and I only have to be in from 9.00-12.00. This makes for a much nicer first day than last semester. I am feeling a little bit uptight about my Wednesday—it’s my only real long day this semester (10.30-21.00), I’ve got two 3 hour classes, and the evening class is at an adult learning center about 40 minutes away (which means I probably won’t be getting home until 21.45). Anyway, I’m sure it will be fine and if it’s not, I’m sure I can handle it.

On my calendar it says for January “I am determined to cultivate only thoughts that increase trust and love.” Um….that’s not really been happening for me lately. In fact this calendar is a bit too inspirational for me at the moment but maybe that’s what I need.

It All Starts Tomorrow

•03/01/2010 • Leave a Comment

I suppose I haven’t used these last few days very productively. I did get a few things out of the way, but I also feel I have wasted a lot of time. But maybe I needed to do nothing for a while. Or maybe I should just shut up about it.

Here’s a new song from 2009 I liked. I used to always know new music. But now I don’t.

I Don’t Want To Dwell On This…

•02/01/2010 • Leave a Comment

…as I’m sure I’ll be embarrassed by it in a few weeks, but I don’t have a lot to do and I don’t like it. I am really going to try hard not to do work at home, so I’m not, especially since I’ve got to be at work all next week with no classes to teach so I’ll be doing my handouts and stuff like that next week. But now I don’t have anything to do and I hate that.

Neither Drunk nor Particularly Melancholy

•01/01/2010 • Leave a Comment

It’s now 2010.

I just had an instant message from a seventeen year old student of mine from England (it’s 1.05 here and 6.05 there). She’s just got(ten) home and is waiting for some friends to arrive to carry on the celebrations. I am in my pajamas, getting ready for bed.

Life, it’s a funny old thing, isn’t it?

Happy New Year.

As I no longer enjoy hangovers, I’ve decided that whenever I feel like “loosening up” and getting a bit tipsy, I’ll just stare at this picture until I feel like vomiting and stumble into bed to have bad dreams.

Job done.

Cold

•30/12/2009 • Leave a Comment

It’s cold out. It’s not as cold inside but that is probably because I have my heating turned up to a ridiculous level. It’s my little present to myself.

I also managed to spend $500 today on a maintenance check on my car. It surprised me a bit as I guess I was assuming it was covered in the warranty. But it wasn’t. So I forked out the bucks. I may be a sucker. I don’t know.

I have wasted tons of time in the last few weeks watching episodes of QI on YouTube in 10 minutes chunks. I’m at the last few available episodes. It’s felt like a real waste in many ways as I should be planning my syllabus and if I’ve going to be sitting at the computer, I should be getting that down. But instead I am watching QI and playing a stupid game online. Alas! It’s no longer Mah Jongg because the website has changed the pictures on the tiles and I don’t like the new ones. That, my friends, is how hardcore I am.

I’ve gone to see a chiropractor a few times (on recommendation of my previous massage therapist). Apparently my hip was injured in the car accident. That seems better but he’s now trying to help my fibromyalgia. He uses a microcurrent which I don’t completely understand but which I’m willing to give a go for a few times.

Just to keep you from worrying about what you might need to skim through, I am not going to post anything about the Christmas holiday. I am also not going to post anything about how I’m going to use the New Year as a chance to get myself together finally. Why bother either of us with that?

Christmas

•26/12/2009 • 2 Comments

I miss my dog.